Factors that Lead to A Marriage Crisis: Opinion Poll. Volume Two

 

 

 

Factors that Lead to A Marriage Crisis are many. The Opinion Poll on the factors that lead to A Marriage Crisis continues. This is Volume two and the last.

 

Take time and go through the opinions and suggest which one that appeals to you most. You are allowed to vote for the best advice in the reply section of this post. If you have not read volume one, you can read it here( Factors that can lead to marital crisis volume one)

 

The essence is to put an end to the alarming rate of divorce in our present time. The way people quit their marriages this time is alarming. We hence decided to unravel the factors that lead to a Marriage Crisis. Through these opinions and suggestions, we hope couples can learn to take drastic measures to curb the temptation of quitting their marriage. The factors that can lead to a marriage crisis can be gleaned from the opinions below. 

 

 

1. Duru Nwafather Imo State.

Factors that lead to A Marriage Crisis are:

Poor Communication.

Lack of communication can be one of the toughest marital problems to work through. Learning to effectively communicate with each other takes effort and understanding.

If communication is a frequent marital problem you’re facing, you may want to find someone unbiased such as a therapist to help you improve your communication. In addition to them helping you understand each other better, they can give you exercises to make communication less frustrating for both of you. Taking the time to address this issue will make all other areas of marriage easier to navigate.

 

 

 

 

2. Ugwuanyi Kenneth Enugu and Nsukka.

The factors that lead to A Marriage Crisis are:

1. Lack of understanding between the partners

2. Ideology of the couple about issues lack money, childbearing and even gender of the child

3. Lack of trust

4. Influence of the third party in a marriage

5. The need to know that there is nothing like divorce in Catholic Christian marriage.

 

 

 

3. MICHAEL CHINWUBA AWKA, ANAMBRA STATE.

 

The factors that lead to A Marriage Crisis are:

1. SPOUSAL INFIDELITY BOTH SEXUAL, FINANCIAL, EMOTIONAL

2. INLAWS INTERFERENCE

3. LACK OF TRUST

4. KEEPING SECRETS THAT SHOULD BE KNOW BY EITHER SPOUSE.

 

 

 

4.Osuji Samuel Uchechukwu Imo /Nwangele.

 

 

The factors that lead to A Marriage Crisis are:

1.money problems.. when the income is not fast coming, debt, bills payment and other financial issues keep increasing and such lead to family quarrels.

1. Friends. Not all friends are helpful to your marriage because some are devil agent looking for a marriage to break while some are God sent who will enhance the growth of your marriage

3.Time apart among couples.. time apart and lack of quality time together can cause couples to become out of sync with each other and also lead to a crisis.

4.Family: Bad in-laws, children, siblings etc can create and tear the marriage apart

5.high expectations in marriage

6.personality conflict among couples

7. Irritating habits. When You marry someone who has a habit that you are undesirable with, you can never be at peace with him until he or she changes.

8.Household responsibility distribution

9.fertility struggles

10.poor communication and lack of trust

11.inconsistent religion belief

12.lack of praying together as a family

 

 

 

 

5. Ngozi Obinwa Nimo, Anambra State.

 

The factors that lead to A Marriage Crisis are:

-Infidelity

-lack of communication

-Incompatibility in sexual, religious and social life

-Lack of trust occasioned by insincerity

-Overbearing influence from family and friends (what we call 3rd party syndrome)

-Money

-Suspicion

-Inability to have children

-Overbearing attitude of the husband

-Excessive financial demands from the wife

-Inability to provide food for the family

-Complex(superiority or inferiority)

-Expectation problems

-Addiction

-Domestic violence

-Anger and bitterness

-Unforgiveness and revenge

-Pride

-Comparison/competition with other families.

 

 

 

6. Okoli Marynancy Chizoba Arondizuogu Imo State.

 

The factors that lead to A Marriage Crisis are:

Money problems: money problems are a common cause of Marital problems.

Lack of intimacy

Fertility struggles

Poor communication

Splitting up chores

 Change in appearances

Infidelity.

 

 

7. CHIMALUZO KELVIN NONSO AKIYI UMULOKPA UZO UWANI LGA, ENUGU STATE. 

The factors that lead to A Marriage Crisis are:

1. Unable to approach the spouse with a calm voice.

2. Tolerance, when one shouts at every mistake the partner made. Correction must be with a calm voice

3. When one failed to attend to a certain percentage of family needs, the home would be less happy.

4. Everybody needs LOVE and RESPECT, when respect is fixed on one person alone, it brings imbalance to the family.

 

 

8. Vivian Uzoma Unegbu LAGOS STATE

Factors that lead to Marriage Crisis

1. Distrust: When one or both parties in marriage lack trust in each other, crises sets in. If a wife/husband often suspects there is more to what the other is doing, then there is room for the crisis.

2. Lack of Communication: Communication drives every relationship but where this is lacking, there are bound to be crises because there will be a misunderstanding. Couples should effectively express themselves both verbally and non verbally.

3. Disrespect: This often affects marriage when there is a wide age gap. One partner sees the other as subordinate and as such intimidates her. In most cases there is abuse

4. Poverty: Lately, this factor has posed a major challenge in marriage. It brings complaints, bitterness, discontentment etc

5. Infidelity: Adultery in all its form is a marriage killer. No peace, no trust, no respect or regard etc.

 

 

 

9. Ibe Calista Chinenye Anambra, Nnewi

Factors that can lead to a marriage crisis are as follows:

Poor communication

Finance

Gender equality

Religion

Family members (extended)

Kids

Peer group influence

Lack of contentment

Age difference

Poor Communication: this is an important factor of marriage or relationship that when overlooked causes a lot of problems. It plays a vital role in our day to day activities. When we misunderstood ourselves it causes a lot of problems. In communication, you need to let your spouse know everything without reservation. State your likes and dislikes to your partner.

 

 

Finance: money is said to be the root of all evil. In a family/marriàge your income and expenses are part of what to be discussed. You have to make plans/ budget on how to spend and when not to. Even if one party is the breadwinner he/she should be sincere and not miss spend outside.

 

 

Gender Equality: In marriage, the two have become one though the father is the head, the mummy’s opinion should also be considered not always what the man says that stand. If the partners understand themselves they’d always do things in common.

 

 

Religion: when both partner share different faith crisis tends to arise as to which the kids should practice and even when it’s not properly discussed before marriage it would cause a big crisis among partners and can lead to separation.

 

Kids: when the parents begin to show favouritism between their kids it leads to a crisis.

 

 

Extended family members: these are members of our family with whom we always share our problems. Husband and wife are one and as such should be able to deal with their problems if they are matured before marriage and understands themselves they should not always take their problems to family members because one person must be sided instead when a problem arises you can visit your witness/ invite them to the house and discuss things over.

 

 

Peer Group influence: these are friends that we tend to copy. We always love to mingle with friends and at times what we discuss if brought back home cause problem.

Lack of Contentment: when you are not satisfied with what you have, you always want to look like your neighbour when you Know your financial strength/capacity. This is more in women. We want to have the latest shoe, dress, handbag, car, jewellery and you know too well the financial ability of your husband but you’d always compare him with his mate out there not minding how those other people made theirs.

 

 

Age difference: some men marry a girl of less age than them in the name of to be able to control her not minding that she’s not yet matured for that business and most of these young girls seem to run to their parents to help them run their family and when the man sees that his aim is been defeated it causes a crisis in the marriage.

There are some friends we don’t need to keep while in marriage because they tend to spoil our home in the name of advice.

 

 

 

10. Akpa Chika Princess Imo

Factors that can lead to a marriage crisis include

1 infidelity

2 poor communication

3 money problem

4 fertility struggles

5 lack of intimacy.

 

 

 

11.Oguike Amarachi Thelma Amaibo Nguru, Ngor-Okpala LGA , Imo State.

 

 

 

Individualism: most couples enter marriage believing that individual rights and needs override the good of the marriage partnership.

Communication: the most common factor causing marital breakdown is communication. When communication is poor, couples experience emotional isolation, uncertainty, neglect and sexual difficulty, making it easier to seek consolation outside their marriage.

Domestic Violence: violence and abuse of power is another factor causing the marriage crisis. This happens when the husband views his children and wife as ‘his property’. Making this cycle repeats itself from one generation to another and puts marriage under threat from the outset.

Parenting: lack of parenting skills also causes marriage crisis, we see that extended families no longer avail themselves to support a new or young family. For instance, the time when children reach adolescent age is very demanding for parents and relationships may be under threat due to these associated pressures.

Unemployment and work-related problems: the problems placed on family life from unemployment are great and have a strong impact on the wellbeing of a couple’s relationship. Unemployment not only has the effect of causing hardship in marriage, but it comes with lowering their self-esteem and limits the ability of a couple to live a fulfilled life in the community.

I think I would stop here. Thanks.

 

 

 

12. Anyanwu Ebere Monica Imo State Amakohia Uratta Owerri

Lack of love between both, Misunderstanding, Inadequate finances, Laziness of one of the couple. Unappreciative attitude. Presence of the third party.

 

 

13. USANGA MARGARET LAGOS, AKWA-IBOM, ITU LOCAL GOVERNMENT

1. Lack of Trust by partners. 

2- Lack of listening to opinions by partners. 

3- Feeling more superior than each other. 

4- Bring in the third party into the marriage eg parents, relatives, friends etc. 

5- Lack of compatibility. 

6- Lack of patience. ,

7- Lack of perseverance. 

8- Competition eg with friends, happenings in the environment etc. 

9- Lack of humility. 

10- Domestic Violence. 

11- Greediness eg you see partners going back to their ex-friends because of what they want to get from them. 

12- Lack of love. 

13- Lack of maturity among partners. 

14- Age also matters. 

15- Lack of Home training. 

16- In- sincerity among partners. 17

– Lack of submissiveness by partners. 

18- Lack of Communication ( keeping malice). 1

19. Use of Phone as become a big problem in marriages today. 

20- Lack of money.

 

 

 

14. Nnaji Ifeoma Imo State/ Enugu

1. A lot of marriages are not built on a solid foundation which is God. People are carried away by material things and jump into the marriage and when they enter and those things are no longer as they expect, it throws the marriage into crisis. People are no longer seeking the true face of God about whom they choose to marry before they go in, they end up marrying the wrong person.

 

2. Secondly people go into a loveless marriage. The Bible says that the husband should love his wife and the woman submits to her husband. This is no longer the case, if a man truly loves his wife like his own body he will go an extra mile to make the marriage work. But when there is no love he doesn’t care. A little issue is blown out of proportion. This usually happens when the man is attracted by physical attributes which fade away as factors in marriage sets in like childbearing. The man begins to lose interest and this throws the marriage into crisis. 

3. Also when A woman does not submit to the authority of her husband and can never respect him. That marriage can never know peace.

4. Delay in childbearing is another cause. Most couples are no longer patient with God to do his will. A little delay in conception and so many marriages they start tearing at each other and the marriage is thrown into crisis.

5. Third-party interference e.g infidelity. The moment a party starts keeping a relationship outside the marriage, that is a recipe for crisis.

6. Not inviting God into a marriage. There is a strong need to know God personally, that way the expected misunderstandings in marriages can be sorted out. The moment you do not know God, you don’t go to church, no mass, no confession, you do not go to sodality meetings or charismatic fellowship, you do not pray in your home, a little misunderstanding can turn into a crisis in a prayerless marriage. The devil thrives in such homes.

 

 

15. Chinagorom Cynthia Imo State Orlu

Disobedience and lack of understanding

 

 

16. Ezinne Anthonia Ego Dike IMO State Nigeria

1. Lack of knowledge of God.

2. Lack of trust among husband & wife.

3. Lack of love /interest.Lack of understanding. 

4. Early marriage. 

5. Conflict or Argument among each other. 

6. Bad company on both of them.

7..infertility among all (Childlessness) Financial problems. 

8. Verbal violence. Lack of commitment among each other Lack of transparency among each other. 

9. Lack of sharing. 

10 Lack of respect.

11. Unable to discuss issues together.

12. Lack of forgiveness. 

13. Lack of se3ual satisfaction. 

14. Among all is the lack of prayer life.

 

 

 

17. Onwe Ngozi Enugu, Enugu State

I think that one of the factors that cause family crises is the lack of attention from either the man or the woman. When attention is lacking in a marriage, it causes either the wife especially to seek it outside the marriage and if care is not taken it may lead to extramarital affairs and thereby causing a crisis in the marriage.

 

 

18.Ogwa Oluchi Rose.

Factors that cause marriage crises are

1.Social incompatibility of married couples: there Is no doubt that some marriages have absolutely no foundation or basis for being contracted at the first instance. This is so because the pair is socially incompatible and may only manage to get along for a short while before signs of incompatibility would start to manifest. It would then be discovered that the couple is strange bedfellow – socially, religiously and ideologically.

 

 

2.Se3ual incompatibility: Poor sexual satisfaction on the marital partners may spice up crises in the union which not properly and timely detected and managed could lead to extramarital sexual affairs. A situation that is on itself leads to disaffection and loss of trust.

 

 

3.Extended family affairs or issues: Happy couples could have their marriage rocked for their inability to properly manage extended family issues. In most cases, women find it difficult to accommodate relations of the husband especially mothers and sisters-in-law and vice versa on the part of some husbands.

 

 

4.Lack of mutual respect between partners: The holy bible admonishes couples thus: wives respect your husbands who in turn should love their wives as they would love their own body.

 

5. Dishonesty of the partners: Couples are made to be honest to each other which is one of the foundations of their marriage, but where there is dishonesty, marriage crises will arise.

 

6. Poor marital communication: Communication is one of the major strongholds in marriage and for any couple that lacks marital communication, marriage crises are likely to arise and may lead to breaking up or even divorce.

 

 

 

 

19. Okoludo Ngozi: Enugu

1)Infidelity

2)Lack of finance

3)Nonchalant behaviour on the father or mother on the affairs of the family.

4)Not having trust in each other

5) Bad friends.

 

 

 

20. Nnadi Violet Ukamaka Enugu State, Aku

In my own opinion and what I was taught in the marriage Course, I could say that the cause of a marriage crisis could be;

1. Lack of communication or poor communication: Couples should practice effective communication, both with God, One another and with their children.

2. Se3ual Challenges: Se3 or conjugal love is part and parcel of marriage, Se3 related problem is the worst thing any couple can experience because it is treated with so much secrecy. Oftentimes, cases of divorce and separation are the direct consequences of unresolved sexual problems in marriage. One partner might be a nymphomaniac and the other will be the direct opposite. Please while courtship is going on don’t be ashamed to ask your partner if he or she likes se3 or not. It matters in marriage.

3. Lack of knowledge about what marriage entails: marriage is teamwork, partnership. Any successful team is indeed the one that can understand one another. To form a good squad in marriage you must trust and understand your partner. To achieve this you need to have a proper understanding of what marriage is all about.

4. Negative thinking: This is a situation whereby people look for what is bad and expect such to happen. In marriage this can create havoc, a woman might become obsessed that the husband is in a secret cult or is unfaithful. She will continue with this conviction in the face of contrary evidence. Thank you.

 

 

 

22. Claret Chisom Owerri

1) Money

2) communication

3) In-laws

4) sex

5) children

6) Food

7) Infidelity

23. Ezenwanne Vivian Delta State

Lack of adequate Communications can lead to a crisis in marriage.

 

 

24. Bernadette Kenya

1. Unfaithfulness

2.Mistrust

3. Disliking in-laws

4.Avoiding prayers and disconnect from the church where people get spiritual nourishment.

 

 

25. Christian Udeh Anambra State… Ihiala L.G.A

The factor that can lead to a marriage crisis is÷

Misunderstanding: when there is a misunderstanding between the two couples there will be no trust. and when there is no trust it will lead to everyday fighting.

 

 

26. Tonytony ANAMBRA

Infidelity is what can lead to a marriage crisis.

 

 

27. Anajemba Peter Paul Anambra

Some of the factors that can cause a crisis in marriage are

1 when the partners lack trust

2 When they failed to admit mistakes/ owing up the responsibility

Thanks.

 

 

28. Adesanya Ayodeji Mary Lagos

Lack of understanding, lack of communication and pride.

 

 

29. Adu Adebiyi Lagos State, Lagos Island

1. Lack of presence of God

2. Deception from either or both of the spouse

3. Lack of communication and understanding.

 

 

30. Obiakor Charity Chibuzor Imo State

1)CHEATING

2)lack of submission on the side of the wife by not allowing your husband to exercise his authority as the man of the house.

3)Lack of communication

4)Lack of trust

5)Lack of Understanding.

 

 

31. Lilian Eberechi Nwimo Imo State, Aboh Mbaise

1. Lack of trust

2. Not been prayerful

3. Not been accommodating

4. Low Self-esteem

5. Lack of home training

6. Lack of understanding

7. Financial problems

8. Lack of appraisal

9. Immaturity mentality

10. Lack of I am sorry ( in right or wrong).

 

 

 

32. Taiwo Benedicta Omoyisola Oshogbo. Osun state

Lack of understanding

Lack of communication

Neglect.

 

 

 

33. Muokwugwo Michael Chinedu Igga, in Enugu State.

Lack of LOVE and its COMPONENTS: our major problems today is that we think of love only and forget its components; love alone cannot build a happy and perfect marriage. Some of the components of love are fidelity; truthfulness; understanding; endurance; caring; fear of God; responsibility; happiness; being satisfied with what you have; patience; attention; humility and kindness. The major cause of the problem in marriage today is because couples lack these qualities.

 

 

 

 

 

34. Okoro Kingsley Akachukwu Enugu

In my own opinion, the following factors could lead to a crisis in marriage.

1. When love fades: Love when translated in the Igbo language simply “Ihunanya” meaning to look at someone in the eyes. To love someone is to look deep inside the eyes of that person and think or say or do good to the person. When a man can not think good of his wife or children and buy food, clothes or gifts for them, it means the man’s love is fading or has faded. Then, When a woman no longer cooks that delicious food for her husband or children, it means her love is questionable.

 

When a man loves his wife he will be able to look genuinely into her eyes and say nice words, express his feelings, promise and fulfil it and the same as the woman (wife).

Possible solutions to this factor include:

A. The culture or practice of expressing love through words, actions and body gesture should be sustained as it was when they both fell in love.

B. Love outside the house should be felt i.e going for outings, valentine date with the spouse, celebrating birthdays and marriage anniversary sometimes outside the house environment.

2. When understanding is neglected: Understanding sometimes also means paying attention to the feelings of the other spouse. Some men only think of themselves when it comes to matters like decision making, having children, bringing up their children etc. It should not be so because women have the full right to be understood. When a woman whose spirit is weak marries a man who doesn’t understand her feelings or has no regard for her own opinion, it may lead to the woman feeling marginalized in her marriage or she doesn’t have a say. That woman eventually will be mute in matters that she ought to speak up. This factor of understanding barely affects men in marriages.

Possible solutions to this problem include:

A. A man should never see his wife as a weak woman but as a helpmate even in decision making.

B. The man should always seek his wife’s opinion in matters concerning his life and the children for they are married and have become one.

c. A woman who knows she has a weak spirit i.e her emotions are hurt easily should not have anything to do with a man who thinks of himself right from the onset of his gesture of love towards her else she will carry the burden in pain and have no one to help her.

3. Trust: When one of the spouses doesn’t trust the other, their marriage will just be like a basket holding water. Trust is vital in anything even in serving God. A man should be able to trust his newly wedded wife when she says she is going to the salon or travelling with her company for contract work. Same also with the woman, she should be able to say I trust my husband enough that he is not having an affair with his workers or colleagues at the office or he is at the cinema at 2 pm and not at the bar.

Possible solutions to this factor:

A. There should be daily communication between spouses.

B. The use of eye contact while expressing oneself is highly recommended because the eyes don’t lie.

C. Both spouses should be free to ask silly questions, say silly things and ungodly things should be welcome and discussed in their conversation.

4. The place of prayer should NEVER be neglected:

Pope John Paul II will say in one of his famous quotes that “a family that prays together stays together”. These words indeed are true and powerful. I came from a home that our financial status, lack of trust in the family and other factors challenge our unity daily but with the daily prayers, we say we were able to conquer all and today we still pray and live together.

Possible solutions to this factor include:

A. Have a special time for prayer

B. Going to church programs as a family

C. Going for thanksgiving and booking mass(for Catholics)

I believe I have touched a soul with these few points of mine. Good bless you.

 

 

 

35. Echendu Edwards Imo State

Adultery, Pride, Lack of trust, Financial imbalance, Bad company, Bringing a third party into family matters.

 

 

 

36. Okoli Geraldine Ogonna Anambra State

One of the factors that cause a marriage crisis is when there is no sincere love between the man and woman. When there is no sincere Love there will be no tolerance, no understanding and most especially no joy in that marriage, and this leads to a marriage crisis.

 

 

 

37. Chikaodi Patience Okpa Imo State/Orlu.

It’s all about good understanding

 

 

 

 

 

38. Ada Obioma Ndubuisi Achi, Oji River, LGA, Enugu

One of the main factors that lead to a crisis in marriage in recent times is

BELIEVING THE MODERN LIES ABOUT MARRIAGE AND DISREGARDING WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT MARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE.

Examples of such lies are:

1st LIE: My Happiness is what matters in my marriage.

The, ‘I cannot come and kill myself’ syndrome.

The ‘Marriage is not bondage’ mentality.

Meanwhile, the reality and truth are that marriage does clip our wings.

You are either married or unmarried, you can’t have it both ways. NO!

I call it, SEEKING PERSONAL or INDIVIDUAL HAPPINESS AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR SPOUSE AND FAMILY.

We want to stay married and yet fly in lengths and breadths to achieve our personal goal at all cost. Be it happiness in career, religion, business, associations, relationship etc.

We forget that, according to God’s words, a spouse’s happiness is not the purpose of Marriage.

The Bible says in Colossians 3:17: “Whatever you do in word or deed,” do for the glory of God.

Through marriage, husbands and wives are to reflect His character and have children who will reflect His character … all the way to the end of time.

Every marriage knows unhappiness. Marriage knows conflict. Every marriage knows difficulty. But everyone can be joyful in their marriage by focusing on God’s purposes and His glory instead of individual happiness.

2nd LIE: Marriage is not by force, If you don’t love him/her anymore, you take a walk.

It’s a tragedy to lose love in marriage. But the loss of human love can teach us to access a deeper love—the very love of God Himself. That love is patient and kind … it never fails (1 Corinthians 13). It even cares for its enemies.

When human love dies in a marriage, a couple can enter into one of the most exciting adventures they’ll ever have: learning how to love each other with God’s love. Romans 5:5 tells us that this very love “has been poured out within our hearts, through the Holy Spirit.”

3rd LIE: I married the wrong person, my spouse and I are incompatible, make sure you marry your best friend, my husband should be my soulmate…..

People want to compare what they see to what they have and they end up in disappointment and regrets.

A wrong start in marriage does not justify another wrong step. “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good,” says Romans 8:28, “to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

God tells us not to be poured into the world’s mould. Instead, we are to be transformed and that begins in our minds. By doing this, God will give us exactly what we need for our lives. God’s will for us is good, acceptable, and perfect (Romans 12:1-2).

On whose standard do you build your marriage, the world’s or God’s

I would like to stop here. Thank you for this opportunity to share my thoughts.

 

 

 

39. Eririogu Fidelia Chinwendu Orlu,Imo State

1.Lack of intimacy

2.Splitting up of chores: Every chore at home is meant for both couple, the man can cook if the woman is sick or tired.

3.Change in Appearance: Some men married their wife because she is beautiful forgetting that childbirth changes a woman.

4.Fertility struggles: The pressure from the relative to see grandchildren, nice and nephew can result in the man blaming his wife for no birth and thereby start to cheat to see if he can pregnant a woman outside his matrimonial home.

5.Poor communication

6.Infidelity: Cheating

7.Inconsistent religious beliefs

8.Culture in a particular village where a woman is seen as nobody like in giving decision in the family

9.Negative styles of talking and fighting with each other such as argument and quarrelling.

10.Lack of se3ual satisfaction: Some men are not satisfied sexually with their, wife and some women don’t allow their husbands whenever they are horny and it makes them look at outside

Which of these opinions appeal to you most? Vote in the reply section.